Little Itch's Poems
Little Itch's Empty House.
How we longed for some healing after your big brothers passing
How a ray of hope was what we dreamed
To help balm the wounds etched into our hearts
Never to replace, but this time to keep
When the blue lines appeared a mixture of emotions
Hope and fear,
Hope in an unfulfilled promise, fear in the pain of another loss
We named you Little Itch sure you would be a girl
In secret the process of your creation started
In secret your loss happened
In the house built to surround you and keep you safe
You never saw the walls of love
That empty house still kept growing unaware that you were not there
An empty house confirmed by an ultrasound
Spoken in soft crashing words that I questioned how can this happen
People said your lucky it wasn't a baby just a few cells nothing more
It could be worse it could have been a baby
You must move forward, maybe try again
Do they not understand that it was your house?
Even though you never knew
We had such plans of dreams and healing
Would you have the same colour hair as your big brother?
Would you be this? would you be that?
Dreams again shot down never to know
Just an empty dream within an empty house.
Lost in words looking for a meaning
In the midst of these creative words that I try to write
I can't find any true meaning of all that has been and is
I am desperate, uncomprehending
My mind shrouded by the thick fog
Which I try to navigate and yet I am lost
I search like an explorer for the answers that I need
My broken heart cries out in ringing tones
Why does this have to be?
The light of my soul once bright
Has like a ember gone dark?
I am beaten, numb and cold looking for a light
In the darkest blackest prison I shake the chains that are
Can explain the fate that is ours to bear
Little Angel as brief as a shooting star that fell to earth
Yet as eternal as the birth of heaven
In the hearts of those who saw your flight
And caught you in their loving hearts
The Language Of Grief
We all at some point talk the language of grief
It robs our hearts of happiness it comes like a thief
It steals all our laughter and batters our hearts
Till the tears can no longer fall
It brings our lives crashing down around us
Till we are up against the wall
It makes us scream in agony
A knightmare that we live
unable to wake from like a dream
The thoughts and feelings it brings
Are like nothing that has been
Yet sometimes in this terrible journey
It brings a speck of light
Calmness a memory of love that cannot be taken
Our own understanding of a very special life
12 February, 2005